I'm starting a Twitter account because some people told me I should. I'm also starting a Facebook page even though I hate Mark Zuckerberg in light of Jesse Eisenberg's (obviously) infallible portrayal of him in the Social Network. I swore never again to join Facebook when I deleted my personal account in 2005, but that just proves how weak my personal convictions are.

With this, I pledge to update more often. I also pledge to tweet regularly about my favorite "articles" from the Daily Mail and Dlisted. Except all stories relating to the Kardashian wedding, because that dude is fugly and I'm over it already. Been over that shit since the OJ trial/before that bitch was born.